Month: August 2021

August 30, 2021

Solitude and the Value of Spending Time Alone

Some people love spending time alone. Others are more prone to feeling uncomfortable or lonely. Regardless of how you currently feel about solitude, there are many benefits to be gained by spending some time alone each day.

If you don’t like being alone, ask yourself why. If you’re not sure, try spending a few hours alone, without distractions, and see what happens.

Alone time can provide a sense of freedom that many of us lack in our day-to-day lives. It’s also a great time to relax and think.

Consider these benefits of spending some time alone:

1. You can do whatever you want. You get to do whatever you want when you’re alone. This can be a blessing if you have a spouse and children! Imagine, you can:

◦ Eat what you want.

◦ You control the TV remote and the radio station.

◦ You could nap.

◦ You can literally do anything you can afford to do without having to worry about making someone else happy.

◦ Make the most of the time you have alone, and you’ll grow to love having a little solitude in your life.

2. It’s easier to concentrate. Have you ever noticed how much more you can get done when everyone is out of your hair? It doesn’t matter if it’s at home or at work. Being alone is a great time to tackle those projects you never seem to have time to do.

3. You learn more about yourself in solitude. It’s much more difficult to be self-aware if you never spend any time by yourself. Your thought processes become more apparent when you’re not distracted by others.

◦ Ideally, spend an extended period of time by yourself each year. You could go camping or backpacking by yourself. You could even just stay at home and let everyone know you’re not available.

4. You become more compassionate. When you constantly hang out with the same people, you naturally develop a feeling of “us versus them.” You’ll be more compassionate toward others if you regularly spend some time alone.

5. Creativity increases during periods of solitude. There’s a reason why artists, musicians, writers, and other creative types go into isolation when it’s time to create. Your mind is much freer to wander and develop new ideas. Most people aren’t nearly as creative as they could be.

6. A little solitude makes you happier. Several studies have shown that people that regularly have some time to themselves are happier than those that don’t.

7. You can think deep thoughts. It’s hard to think about your life in a deep and meaningful way when you’re surrounded by others. Your alone time is the perfect opportunity to work on your bigger challenges, make big decisions, and ponder the meaning of life.

Schedule periods of solitude into your day. Avoid just using whatever free time you happen to have for solitude. It’s important enough to deliberately plan into your day. And avoid just scheduling alone time. Plan on how you’re going to use that time. Be productive with your periods of solitude.

Having some alone time is a blessing. If you currently aren’t able to spend some time with yourself, make time. It’s one of the most important things you can do for yourself. Your creativity will increase. You can tackle big challenges. You can even just do whatever you feel like doing!

Make the most of the time you have alone. It’s one of life’s great pleasures. Enjoy your solitude and be thankful for it.

August 28, 2021

Who Are You Pondering Your Personal Identity

Who Are You? Pondering Your Personal Identity

Have you ever spent any time thinking about who you really are? Maybe you’ve wondered how other people perceive you. Who you are—your identity—is a powerful force in your life and speaks volumes to others who come into contact with you.

Your identity plays an important role in the decisions you make and the relationships you have.

Thinking about who you are will strengthen the connections among your mind, body, and behaviors. Also, you can get a better handle of where you are in life as well as where you’re headed.

Although there are plenty of psychological theories about identity, including its formation and how you maintain it, consider the following as basic elements of your identity:

  1. Your personal family history. Where you were raised, who you grew up with, and the experiences you had as you matured from an infant all the way through your early adult years are powerful factors affecting the development of your personal identity.
  • Consider sayings like, “You can take the girl out of the city, but you can’t take the city out of the girl” and their implications. So where you’ve come from plays a major role in who you are.
  • However, your history doesn’t have to be the end of the story when it comes to your present identity. An encouraging thing about life is that you can take steps to be the person you want to be at any time.
  1. The “group” of people you hang out with. Much of who you are today can be attributed to the people you most closely affiliate with. Your friends probably share interests in the same kinds of things you find fascinating.
  • Perhaps several of your friends play golf and so do you. You’re into fitness and a bit of a health nut as are a few of your best buddies. Even though you may associate the idea of “cliques” with your teen years, it’s still true that we gravitate towards people who share similarities to ourselves.
  • You can be selective about the people you choose to hang out with. If you want to be studious, you can look for others who spend time in libraries and taking classes. If you want to be successful, choose to hang out with people you view as good at their work and successful in life.
  1. Your physical appearance. Your clothes, hairstyle, and how you conduct yourself physically combine to make up an important aspect of your personal identity. Although your appearance isn’t the only thing that’s relevant about who you are, the fact is that your physical state provides people with a picture of who you are.
  2. Your feelings, thoughts, and beliefs about you. Your self-image is made up of how you feel about yourself as an individual. Also, what you believe to be true about yourself is a powerful force in determining your personal identity.
  • For example, if you believe you’re an overweight, unattractive person, then you might unconsciously portray those characteristics toward others.
  • But if you see yourself as someone who’s working hard to excel in her career and willing to give something to get something, you present a more positive identity to others.
  • What you feel, think, and believe about yourself are major aspects of your overall identity.

Make it a point to ponder who you are. Recognize that your personal identity is a complex mix of your history, affiliations, and thoughts and beliefs about yourself. How you appear to others is also representative of your identity.

Realize that you have considerable power to influence the type of identity you possess and show to others. Be positive and vow to be the best you can be!

August 27, 2021

Invest In Yourself And Enjoy The Difference

Invest in Yourself and Enjoy the Difference

You spend time and money keeping your car in good shape, but what about your body? You do things for your children, but what about yourself? Why not spend some time, money, and effort on yourself? There’s a lot you can do to invest in yourself.

See how much more you can accomplish when you make yourself a priority!

Try these techniques to enrich your life by investing in you:

  1. Hire a personal trainer. Your health and fitness are important. Get an expert on your side. Many health clubs offer free personal training. Look for a gym with this service. If you have the financial resources, hiring the local expert can speed your progress.
  2. Hire a personal chef. A personal chef typically comes to your house once every two weeks and prepares two weeks of food at a time. The meals can accommodate any food preferences you have. It’s not a cheap service, but it’s less expensive than a private chef!
  3. Take a course. What interests you? You could take a class on Buddhism, basket weaving, calculus, or a golf lesson. What would enrich your life? Identify what would do the most for you and go do it. You might ask your boss for a few ideas. It might give your career a boost.
  4. Hire a personal coach. A personal coach can help you figure out what you want to do with your life and advise you on how to make it happen. A personal coach is a sounding board, friend, and an expert on life. Let someone advise you and hold you accountable.
  5. Make time for yourself. Everyone needs a break each day to enjoy life. Use this time however you please without any feelings of guilt. Watch TV or YouTube videos. Gossip with the neighbor. Enjoy an ice cream cone or read a trashy novel. Spending some time frivolously is important for your well-being.
  6. Do something to advance your career. You might work on your resume, brush up on your interviewing skills, or spend some time networking. Take a public speaking course. What do you need to take your career to the next level?
  7. Read something just for you. Anything you like. It might be something that helps you at work, with a hobby, or just provide entertainment. Make reading a regular habit. Reading is one thing most successful people have in common.
  8. See the doctor. It’s important to see the doctor at least once each year. Get a check-up and ensure your body is in good health. It’s a good idea to see the dentist too.
  9. Set a few goals. It’s important to be working toward something. What will that something be? Without a goal, you’re just waiting for something to happen. Choose what you want to happen in your life. Spend whatever time you need to create a few goals that will enhance your life.

What can you do today to ensure a more prosperous future? Spend a small portion of your resources – time, money, or focus – on yourself each month. Make yourself a priority. You’ll enjoy the results.

August 25, 2021

Top 10 Ways To Overcome Fear And Self Doubt

Top 10 Ways to Overcome Fear and Self-Doubt

Fear and self-doubt can be crippling. It’s not easy to enjoy your life or to achieve great things when you’re afraid or doubt your capabilities. Many people stay away from situations that trigger these mental states, but that’s a severely limited way to approach life.

Most of the best things in life lie on the other side of fear and doubt!

Banish fear and self-doubt from your life with these strategies:

  1. Tackle smaller fears first. The way to become good at handling big fears is to tackle small fears first. Look at the things that make you just a little bit uncomfortable and force yourself to do them. You’ll notice that they become a little easier to do the next time. Then move on to more moderate fears and force yourself to do those too.
    • Prove to yourself that you can overcome your fears. You’ll start to believe that you can do almost anything.
  2. Examine the source of your self-doubt. Why do you have self-doubt? What is the source of your doubt? Is this source reliable? Perhaps you’ll realize that you don’t have a reason to doubt yourself at all.
  3. Stay present with your thoughts. When we allow ourselves to look into the future, we are burning with worry. When you look ahead, you’re likely to assume the worst. Keep your mind in the present, and you’ll find that your fear diminishes.
  4. Ask yourself, “What’s the worst that can happen?” Think about the worst possible reasonable outcome. How bad would that be? How would you respond to that?
    • Creating a plan that you can put into place for dealing with that worst possible outcome will lessen your fear.
  5. Breathe. Sometimes the best thing you can do is just breathe. Slow, deep breaths help to calm down your physiology and reduce the fight or flight response. Deep breathing can be an effective way to reduce the fear and self-doubt you’re feeling.
  6. Skip being perfect. Perfection is unattainable. The pursuit of perfection creates anxiety. Certainly, you’ll feel self-doubt if perfection is your goal. Be realistic and your fear and self-doubt will be minimized.
    • You don’t have to be right or successful very often to have an amazing life!
  7. Realize that everyone has fears. You’re not alone. In fact, fear can be an advantage. When you’re able to overcome your fears, and others are not, you have a great advantage over all of your competition.
  8. Pretend you’re courageous. Imagine how you would stand, think, and breathe if you were the bravest person on the face of the Earth. Allow yourself to have that posture and those thoughts. Notice how much more courageous you feel.
  9. Visualize success. Visualize yourself being successful. The more times you can see yourself being successful, the less fear you’ll feel, and your confidence will grow.
  10. Take action. Taking action is one of the best ways to overcome fear. Even if you’re afraid at the beginning, your fear will shrink in the face of your activity. Sometimes, getting started is the hardest part.

How much do fear and self-doubt control your decisions? How much more could you accomplish if you were able to overcome these mental states? Avoid the urge to give in to these emotions. You can be and experience more! Overcome your fears and refuse to allow self-doubt to limit your life.

August 23, 2021

Who Are You? Pondering Your Personal Identity

Have you ever spent any time thinking about who you really are? Maybe you’ve wondered how other people perceive you. Who you are-your identity-is a powerful force in your life and speaks volumes to others who come into contact with you.

Your identity plays an important role in the decisions you make and the relationships you have.

Thinking about who you are will strengthen the connections among your mind, body, and behaviors. Also, you can get a better handle of where you are in life as well as where you’re headed.

Although there are plenty of psychological theories about identity, including its formation and how you maintain it, consider the following as basic elements of your identity:

1. Your personal family history. Where you were raised, who you grew up with, and the experiences you had as you matured from an infant all the way through your early adult years are powerful factors affecting the development of your personal identity.

* Consider sayings like, “You can take the girl out of the city, but you can’t take the city out of the girl” and their implications. So where you’ve come from plays a major role in who you are.

* However, your history doesn’t have to be the end of the story when it comes to your present identity. An encouraging thing about life is that you can take steps to be the person you want to be at any time.

2. The “group” of people you hang out with. Much of who you are today can be attributed to the people you most closely affiliate with. Your friends probably share interests in the same kinds of things you find fascinating.

* Perhaps several of your friends play golf and so do you. You’re into fitness and a bit of a health nut as are a few of your best buddies. Even though you may associate the idea of “cliques” with your teen years, it’s still true that we gravitate towards people who share similarities to ourselves.

* You can be selective about the people you choose to hang out with. If you want to be studious, you can look for others who spend time in libraries and taking classes. If you want to be successful, choose to hang out with people you view as good at their work and successful in life.

3. Your physical appearance. Your clothes, hairstyle, and how you conduct yourself physically combine to make up an important aspect of your personal identity. Although your appearance isn’t the only thing that’s relevant about who you are, the fact is that your physical state provides people with a picture of who you are.

4. Your feelings, thoughts, and beliefs about you. Your self-image is made up of how you feel about yourself as an individual. Also, what you believe to be true about yourself is a powerful force in determining your personal identity.

* For example, if you believe you’re an overweight, unattractive person, then you might unconsciously portray those characteristics toward others.

* But if you see yourself as someone who’s working hard to excel in her career and willing to give something to get something, you present a more positive identity to others.

* What you feel, think, and believe about yourself are major aspects of your overall identity.

Make it a point to ponder who you are. Recognize that your personal identity is a complex mix of your history, affiliations, and thoughts and beliefs about yourself. How you appear to others is also representative of your identity.

Realize that you have considerable power to influence the type of identity you possess and show to others. Be positive and vow to be the best you can be!

August 21, 2021

Top 10 Ways to Overcome Fear and Self-Doubt

Fear and self-doubt can be crippling. It’s not easy to enjoy your life or to achieve great things when you’re afraid or doubt your capabilities. Many people stay away from situations that trigger these mental states, but that’s a severely limited way to approach life.

Most of the best things in life lie on the other side of fear and doubt!

Banish fear and self-doubt from your life with these strategies:

1. Tackle smaller fears first. The way to become good at handling big fears is to tackle small fears first. Look at the things that make you just a little bit uncomfortable and force yourself to do them. You’ll notice that they become a little easier to do the next time. Then move on to more moderate fears and force yourself to do those too.

◦ Prove to yourself that you can overcome your fears. You’ll start to believe that you can do almost anything.

2. Examine the source of your self-doubt. Why do you have self-doubt? What is the source of your doubt? Is this source reliable? Perhaps you’ll realize that you don’t have a reason to doubt yourself at all.

3. Stay present with your thoughts. When we allow ourselves to look into the future, we are burning with worry. When you look ahead, you’re likely to assume the worst. Keep your mind in the present, and you’ll find that your fear diminishes.

4. Ask yourself, “What’s the worst that can happen?” Think about the worst possible reasonable outcome. How bad would that be? How would you respond to that?

◦ Creating a plan that you can put into place for dealing with that worst possible outcome will lessen your fear.

5. Breathe. Sometimes the best thing you can do is just breathe. Slow, deep breaths help to calm down your physiology and reduce the fight or flight response. Deep breathing can be an effective way to reduce the fear and self-doubt you’re feeling.

6. Skip being perfect. Perfection is unattainable. The pursuit of perfection creates anxiety. Certainly, you’ll feel self-doubt if perfection is your goal. Be realistic and your fear and self-doubt will be minimized.

◦ You don’t have to be right or successful very often to have an amazing life!

7. Realize that everyone has fears. You’re not alone. In fact, fear can be an advantage. When you’re able to overcome your fears, and others are not, you have a great advantage over all of your competition.

8. Pretend you’re courageous. Imagine how you would stand, think, and breathe if you were the bravest person on the face of the Earth. Allow yourself to have that posture and those thoughts. Notice how much more courageous you feel.

9. Visualize success. Visualize yourself being successful. The more times you can see yourself being successful, the less fear you’ll feel, and your confidence will grow.

10. Take action. Taking action is one of the best ways to overcome fear. Even if you’re afraid at the beginning, your fear will shrink in the face of your activity. Sometimes, getting started is the hardest part.

How much do fear and self-doubt control your decisions? How much more could you accomplish if you were able to overcome these mental states? Avoid the urge to give in to these emotions. You can be and experience more! Overcome your fears and refuse to allow self-doubt to limit your life.

August 20, 2021

Invest in Yourself and Enjoy the Difference

You spend time and money keeping your car in good shape, but what about your body? You do things for your children, but what about yourself? Why not spend some time, money, and effort on yourself? There’s a lot you can do to invest in yourself.

See how much more you can accomplish when you make yourself a priority!

Try these techniques to enrich your life by investing in you:

1. Hire a personal trainer. Your health and fitness are important. Get an expert on your side. Many health clubs offer free personal training. Look for a gym with this service. If you have the financial resources, hiring the local expert can speed your progress.

2. Hire a personal chef. A personal chef typically comes to your house once every two weeks and prepares two weeks of food at a time. The meals can accommodate any food preferences you have. It’s not a cheap service, but it’s less expensive than a private chef!

3. Take a course. What interests you? You could take a class on Buddhism, basket weaving, calculus, or a golf lesson. What would enrich your life? Identify what would do the most for you and go do it. You might ask your boss for a few ideas. It might give your career a boost.

4. Hire a personal coach. A personal coach can help you figure out what you want to do with your life and advise you on how to make it happen. A personal coach is a sounding board, friend, and an expert on life. Let someone advise you and hold you accountable.

5. Make time for yourself. Everyone needs a break each day to enjoy life. Use this time however you please without any feelings of guilt. Watch TV or YouTube videos. Gossip with the neighbor. Enjoy an ice cream cone or read a trashy novel. Spending some time frivolously is important for your well-being.

6. Do something to advance your career. You might work on your resume, brush up on your interviewing skills, or spend some time networking. Take a public speaking course. What do you need to take your career to the next level?

7. Read something just for you. Anything you like. It might be something that helps you at work, with a hobby, or just provide entertainment. Make reading a regular habit. Reading is one thing most successful people have in common.

8. See the doctor. It’s important to see the doctor at least once each year. Get a check-up and ensure your body is in good health. It’s a good idea to see the dentist too.

9. Set a few goals. It’s important to be working toward something. What will that something be? Without a goal, you’re just waiting for something to happen. Choose what you want to happen in your life. Spend whatever time you need to create a few goals that will enhance your life.

What can you do today to ensure a more prosperous future? Spend a small portion of your resources – time, money, or focus – on yourself each month. Make yourself a priority. You’ll enjoy the results.

August 18, 2021

8 Tips For Building A Healthy Self Image

8 Tips for Building a Healthy Self-Image

Reaching your full potential is dependent on the creation and maintenance of a healthy self-image. It’s not possible to be highly successful if you don’t believe in yourself. The way you view yourself is either uplifting or a hindrance. Regardless of your childhood experiences, past failings, or current level of self-esteem, you can possess a healthy self-image.

Avoid underestimating the impact of your self-image on other areas of your life. To reach your full potential, you must respect yourself and believe you can do great things.

Add value to yourself, and your self-image will flourish:

  1. Overcome any limiting beliefs. Think about something you’d like to accomplish, but are unable to do because of a limiting belief. Make a list of how that belief is negatively impacting your life. Now, focus on how much your life would be enhanced if you were able to remove this belief from your life.
  • Create five affirmations you can repeat to yourself throughout the day. The affirmations should be stated in the positive and address the new belief you’d like to install.
  1. Recognize the small victories. It’s not necessary to earn a million dollars or lose 50 pounds before you have the right to feel proud and excited. Any progress is worthy of recognizing. Large successes are the culmination of many smaller successes.
  2. Take full responsibility for your current situation. Is it your fault that your parents mistreated you or that your boss is a jerk? Of course not, but no one else is going to fix the situation. It’s all on you. When you take responsibility, you have control. Self-esteem is elusive when you believe you don’t have control over your life.
  3. Do something for others. It’s easy to feel selfish when all of your thoughts and activities are centered on yourself. Spend part of your time enhancing the lives of others. Demonstrate to yourself that you’re a good person.
  4. Take a step each day toward your ideal self. We all have a vision of the person we’d like to be. That ideal version of ourselves might seem too far away to even consider, but take a small step each day. Each small improvement will raise your self-image. Start today by listing all the qualities you’d like to have.
  5. Manage your self-talk. We all talk to ourselves. You’re not the only one! The greatest thing about this is that we can control what we say to ourselves. Is your self-talk positive or negative? Negative self-talk chips away at your feelings of self-worth. Be kind to yourself. Be encouraging, positive, and patient.
  6. Get started on the bigger projects in your life. Your self-image is damaged when you fail to control yourself. Big projects are intimidating. Focus on getting started. Take at least a few minutes each day to tackle the bigger goals in your life. Sustained progress is the key.
  7. Avoid comparing yourself to others. We all have different skills and talents. It’s unfair to compare yourself to other people. You’re doomed to be either too hard or too easy on yourself.
  • Compare yourself to your past. Are you doing better than you were last month? When you can consistently answer “yes,” you’ll be well on your way to maximizing your self-image.

Begin to build a healthy self-image today. Regardless of your past or current impressions of yourself, you can learn to view yourself in a more positive light. A healthy self-image is the springboard to happiness and success. Focus on the small victories in your life and be proud of your progress. You deserve to be successful and happy.

August 16, 2021

Strategies for Being Your Own Best Friend

Although it might sound a little trite when you’re advised to “be your own best friend,” the fact is that all your life, you’re the only person you’ll always have. If you like yourself as an individual, you’re more likely to live a happy and fulfilled life.

So what does it really mean to be your own best friend? You’ll do and say all the things to yourself that a best friend would. You’ll support and encourage yourself to make wise choices and go after your dreams. Most of all, you’ll love yourself as only a best friend could.

These strategies can help you discover the joys of being your own best friend:

1. Do a personal inventory of your strengths and weaknesses. Be gentle, yet realistic, in identifying your personal qualities. Know what you’re great at and what you might want to work on. 


2. Accept yourself just the way you are. Learning to feel comfortable with yourself is one of the biggest hurdles to being your own best friend.

* Maybe you laugh too loud or get jealous easily. It’s okay! If you’d like to change some qualities about yourself, accept these qualities as something you can work on rather than denying them or being critical. 


3. Follow your own internal rules for what to do and not do. Listen to what your heart, mind, soul, and gut is telling you. Refrain from doing something you don’t respect.

* For example, let’s say keeping friends’ information private is important to you. If a friend tells you something in confidence and someone else tries to pump you for information, avoid behaving in a way that makes you feel upset later.


* What you feel and believe matters. Being your own best friend means you recognize the importance of your own thoughts and emotions.


4. Allow yourself to make mistakes. No one can realistically expect perfection. After all, you are human!


* When you err, make a concerted effort to review what you did and why you did it. Learn from your mistake so you’ll know how to handle a similar situation in the future. Consider it a learning experience instead of beating yourself up about it.


* In essence, give yourself a break.


5. Be protective of yourself. Refrain from allowing others to mistreat or take advantage of you. 


6. Stand up for yourself. If someone has treated you unfairly, let them know you’ve noticed and that you don’t appreciate it. Then, tell them in an appropriate manner what you want or need from them.


7. Learn to soothe yourself when times are tough. You’ll benefit greatly from knowing how to help yourself feel better when you’re feeling down or sad. 


* Figure out what eases your emotional pain and make use of it whenever necessary. 

* For example, if reading a favored author relaxes and rejuvenates you, that might be one of your ways to self-soothe. 

* If taking a long walk gives you the opportunity to think something through and be relieved of negative feelings, you’ve got another great method of self-soothing. 

* Of course, it’s important to your well-being to find positive ways to self-soothe. Avoid using unhealthy methods like substance abuse or overeating.


8. Consider your own needs first. Although some would say this is selfish, in most instances, it makes perfect sense. After all, you’ll struggle in helping others if you aren’t taking care of yourself. So keep yourself in the best shape you can, emotionally and physically. 


9. Know your own priorities and live your life in consideration of them. Once you establish what’s important to you, you’ll be able to go after whatever it is you want in life. 


Vow to be your own best friend by following these strategies. Learning to treat yourself with kindness, respect and care will pay off throughout your life. Make it a life goal to be your own best friend forever.

August 14, 2021

The Flaw Of Comparing Yourself To Others

The Flaw of Comparing Yourself to Others

If you’re lacking contentment, it could be because you’re comparing yourself to others. You’ve been on Facebook and seen the pictures of others living their seemingly exciting lives. It only takes a moment to find yourself wishing you had someone else’s career, body, house, or vacation.

Comparing ourselves to others is a common activity!

But there’s a critical flaw in this mental exercise. You simply don’t have all the information. Someone might have a great body, but they might be seriously ill. That great vacation might have been paid for with an inheritance after a family member passed away.

A smarter strategy is to compare yourself to your own recent past. How is your figure compared to 6 months ago? How are your finances compared to last year? If you’re making progress, congratulate yourself. Most people aren’t doing nearly as well. They’ve weighed the same 210 lbs. and had the same $1,200 in their bank account for the last 20 years.

If your life isn’t moving forward, then take pause and address the situation.

Theodore Roosevelt once said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” Think about that statement and decide if it rings true for you.

Try these tips to free yourself from unnecessary comparisons:

  1. Catch yourself early in the process. As soon as you realize that you’re making comparisons to others, shift your focus to something else.
  • You can control your thoughts, so use that ability to your advantage.
  1. Remember that the journey is what matters. Everyone is on a journey to learn, create, and become something unique. It’s an individual experience that isn’t impacted by what others are doing or accomplishing.
  2. Comparing yourself to others is a game that can’t be won. There are a lot of people in the world. Through sheer statistics, there will always be someone with a more attractive spouse, more money, a better car, or a more interesting life.
  • There’s no way to compete with 8 billion people in every facet of life.
  1. Look to your strengths. Comparisons tend to focus on our weaknesses. We usually compare our shortcomings against others. Embrace your strengths and be proud. Now use those strengths to your advantage.
  2. List the things you have. Comparisons highlight the things we lack. It’s much more productive to think about the things you do have. Your mood and frame of mind will be more positive, and you’ll be in a better position to compete and succeed.
  3. People only let you see the things that want you to see. Sure, they’ll let you see their new BMW and the vacation pictures from Maui. But you’ll never see the tears and fights in the bedroom, or the verbal abuse they take from their mother-in-law. Keep in mind that social media is primarily used for showing the good, rather than telling the bad.
  4. It’s just a habit. Our lives are filled with habits, and some of them are harmful. Poor mental habits are restrictive. It’s like going through life with the emergency brake on.
  • Labeling the tendency to compare as a habit has a powerful advantage because we know that habits can be broken.

Comparing yourself to others is limiting and self-defeating. No one can be expected to compare favorably to the vast number of people in the world. Make an effort to limit your comparisons to your own recent past. Are you making progress or backsliding? If you continue to enhance the areas that are important to you, your life is likely to be fulfilling and exciting!